Myself

So lately I've been doing really well. I feel like my old self. In otherwords, I've been horny like hell. Mark has been working a lot of hours, so I'm left to have fun by myself. I seriously have been masturbating like crazy! I've just been thinking about sex so much.
Mark is happy I'm finally myself again. It just sucks because he can't enjoy it as much as he would like. Another thing he is happy about is the fact that I've been dressing up for him. This is something I love doing and I hadn't done it for I think three weeks. I have a whole bunch of outfits that I own: the nurse outfits, fairy, dominatrix, maid, jungle girl. I have really a ton of different lingerie sets and things. Of course his favorite is the maid outfit, or just me naked. I just like to have fun.
Laura has been getting on my nerves. She's fun, but I'm just bored of me and her hanging out. I definitely like being with a guy. Being with her is fun, but it can frustrate me because well, it isn't a guy. Don't get me wrong I am having fun-but I feel like we are more makeout buddies than friend now. Well I do have my new friend Sara (that I met at my party) and I can tell her anything which is cool and she tells me everything. Well that's what I've been up to....

My Party...

Yesterday the weather was wonderful. I invited about 15 of my friends and told them to bring people. Mark invited some people I hadn't met yet. At first there were about 10 people and I thought all the food we bought would end up being thrown out, but then more people started to come over. I think about 30 people ended up coming over which is great because I was really worried no one would show up.The people in my building are so nice, they didn't mind at all and the backyard was so full and we were out so late and the music was extremely loud, but they didn't get mad, which is cool. We had a keg of beer and I made some mixed drinks and blended some drinks also. I had a lot to drink, but Mark made sure I didn't get too carried away. A few people ended up crashing on the couch or sleeping around the living room and my bedroom(I wish my place was bigger).
I had a really good time and Mark's friends were all really nice, they seemed to like me and they were so sweet. Mark's best friend Joey (who I already knew) brought his girl friend and she was so sweet. I think I made a new friend for life. She was just so nice. I can always use more friends, plus I always seem to have more guy friends so having a girl I can talk to is great. Laura's cool, but some stuff she just doesn't understand.
Anyway, so Mark and I had great sex after everyone left, which is great because I haven't been in the mood like that for a long time. I was so happy and it just completed a wonderful day. The party really helped me to feel better, being surrounded by people I love and new and old friends just lifted my spirits. Hopefully I won't worry about Liam anymore....

On another note. I think I may have to add word verification, although I don't want to add it. I seem to be getting this asshole-anonymous writer who keeps putting the same bullshit comments and its annoying the Fuck out of me.
But to all of my wonderful readers keep on posting your comments!!!!!

~Liam~

So Liam never returned any of my calls...
Liam left all of his clothes and things here, and I wonder if he plans on getting them. I am very pathetic, I've been sleeping with his hoodies every night.
I just can't believe that it is going to end like this. Liam is the guy I lost my virginity to, the first guy I ever loved, and has always been there for me. I guess I fooled myself when I said I was over him before, but I don't know I just am so mad and sad and just awful.
I thought he would get over it. I mean he's been dealing with me in my 'rebellious phase' and he didn't leave me when I pushed him aside. He knew I was with Mark... It's not like I was sneaking around. I slipped up-he should be a little more understanding.
As if dealing with this isn't enough, I now have to deal with all of my friends saying, 'I knew this was bound to happen'. I don't even feel like going out of the house. I'm scared I will run into him somewhere.
Last night Mark was over and we were in the middle of having sex and I just burst out crying. I'm going crazy! Luckily Mark is really understanding, but I still hope Liam might come over and just forgive me. It probably won't happen though, because we have never gone that long without talking. Liam and Mark are so different, but I need both of them...

My Update...

Sorry I've taken so long to update all of you on what happened I've had a shitty week and it just keeps getting worse.

Okay, so my big plan for Wednesday never happened. I was so sad. Mark had to work so he was too tired to do anything when he got home. Laura and I just ended up making out a little while we watched TV. Nothing to exciting, right? Sorry no great threesome to tell you about, maybe another time though.

Well now let me tell you about the worst thing that happened.... Last night Liam was over and we were having sex and the worst possible thing happened. I said the wrong name- I yelled out Mark's name while we were having sex!
A major deal breaker. I felt so stupid. Liam was so mad. He pulled out got up dressed and left. He didn't even say anything. I've tried calling him and left messages saying Im sorry. Any ideas on what I should do? I feel like shit. I probably ruined a great thing. I don't know what to do and I really want to make things better. I really don't want to be without Liam we've known eachother so long and we've been through so much.